Last month I wrote about the importance of submitting your will to God. I wrote about the growth in your confidence once you realize that God is not here to harm you. I wrote my plea for you to give God a chance and allow Him to lead you, in His timing, to all your destiny has to offer. There were a few things I didn’t write, however. These things were principles that I learned this past month, after failing a few tests He gave me. These were things, that now I see, prove crucial to keeping your faith steady and strong during life’s shakiness. Let’s dive in.

Not too long after I wrote my last post, I found myself in a position to pursue some of the things God revealed about my destiny. Full of faith and expectant, I took a leap, believing that God gave me His “ok”. I made a connection here. A friend helped me there. My heart was overjoyed with the thought that I was finally focusing on something I really wanted. I felt like I was on the up and up until suddenly, I wasn’t. Out of nowhere, it seemed, a wave of “no” crashed into me so distinctly that I had to stop, feeling unsure of why or what to do about it. Instantly I looked at God for an explanation but I didn’t receive one. “Did He not give me the go ahead? Why would He do this?” I thought, upset and dejected. I let the disappointment settle on me until it turned into despair. I went from bad to worse, allowing my sadness to isolate me from others, to stifle my creativity, and to keep me in an ugly mood. Doesn’t this sound contrary to what I wrote about last month? God knew I had more learning to do.

“I meditate on Your precepts and consider Your ways. I delight in Your decrees; I will not neglect Your word.” – Psalm 119:15-16

Though in my feelings, I never stopped talking to God. While, admittedly, I went through some days of whining and complaining (I’m not perfect y’all), I did continue to seek Him out for understanding. I wanted to know how I could get a “yes” in my spirit and then suddenly, as my joy grew, get kicked back down with a “no”. Without answering my questions, He brought me back to a notebook I had laying on my table. If you’ve been reading for a while, you would know that I wrote a post about that notebook and how I used it to battle my insecurities. He reminded me of how I used that notebook to grow in my faith and to learn His promises. He also reminded me that I hadn’t written in that notebook in weeks and perhaps my answer might lie there. Sighing, wishing He could just explain Himself to me instead, I grabbed that notebook and my Bible, and went on a hunt for some answers.

Searching for scriptures that addressed disappointment, I found myself in the book of Psalm, reading how David encouraged himself in the Lord. No matter how difficult things got, how much David messed up, or how many struggles David faced, His eyes still focused on God. Though he might complain in the beginning of a chapter, by its end, David would be magnifying the Lord’s name, confident that God loved him and had a plan for his life. As I began to write these various verses down, the light bulb went off. Did I not know about God’s faithfulness before? Did I not know that God promised to bless me?  Was it that I didn’t know these things or was it, perhaps, that I allowed myself to temporarily forget? This revelation made me realize why God brought me back to the notebook in the first place. To avoid even the temptation of thinking God had an ounce of malice towards me, I needed to keep my focus on His word and His promises. If I wasn’t meditating on them daily, reading them, and writing them down, life’s highs and lows would definitely weaken my faith. This was a reminder to focus on Him, not just in theory but in practice, daily, so that I would be assured, no matter the circumstances, of who He said He was and who I was in Him.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.” – Hebrews 12:11-12

When I was able to recall the goodness of God and His care, love, and faithfulness in the lives of His children, I was able to humble myself enough to apologize and start the process of wiping away the ugliness I had in my heart.  Digging deeper into what the Bible had to say about God, that wave of “no” soon began to retreat. I realized then that the “no” had less to do with stifling plans and more to do with checking my heart. How could I say that God’s will came before mine but get mad when He exercised said will? How could I pray to be a light yet still operate in darkness? How could I say that I had faith in God yet crumble at opposition? It’s not that God expects perfection, but He does expect me to trust His word and stand firm. He doesn’t want me to be a baby in Christ forever. It’s time that I start eating solids.

“The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:24

I wrote this to remind and challenge you to make this Jesus journey a forever thing. While we may be motivated and uplifted in one season, there will always be opposition and trouble to threaten our peace in the next. We must constantly check in with God. We must faithfully study His word and seek Him for clarity and guidance. We must recall His attributes and allow them to encourage us always, especially in our low times. God loves us, even when we tend to forget. While it’s normal to have these moments, it’s imperative that we don’t stay there. Let’s level up.

We aren’t babies anymore, twenty somethings ❤️