I’ve been feeling uneasy. Fearing complacency and desiring a higher calling, I’ve come to God boldly with prayers for change, opportunities, and influence. I’ve asked God for financial increase, for mentors and coaches, and for new placements to make the most impact. Though I knew God was happy that I started to practice praying boldly, He didn’t want me to stop there. He challenged me with the simple question: What’s your motive?

The question took me aback. Was it necessary to have a motive? Weren’t my desires automatically going to be aligned to His will, because I sought after Him? As an example, let’s take my prayer for financial increase. I asked God to remove my student loan debt and to increase my salary so that I could pursue and acquire more than I was currently able to.  This wasn’t a malicious request. I had no desire to flex for Instagram or put others down for not having the finances I had (hoped to have). I simply wanted a relief from the weight of debt and bills on me. “That’s great and everything, but what do you need the money  for specifically?” He responded. As I thought about it, the only things that popped into my head were vacations, lack of stress, and more freedom. With God nowhere on the list,  I knew that my answer wasn’t enough.

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” – James 4:3

The ‘flex’ is one of our biggest enemies, today. Everybody posts their highlight reels. We’re flooded with pictures and stories about people traveling across the world. We’re informed about the latest person who quit their job to start a successful business. What we don’t see, at least not often, is the person who went out for a dream prematurely and fell flat on their face. We also rarely see the insecurity and fear that many people who post these highlights actually have. As it relates to motive, many of us find ourselves asking for or pursuing things for our own gain, for our own ego, to fulfill a drought in our life emotionally, or to follow the trends. How often do we, if ever, ask God what He wants us to do? Does God want you to start the business this year or does He want you to wait another year? Does God want you to spend your savings on vacations or does He want you to use it for a different purpose? Is flexing what God wants you to do or is He trying to mature you in the areas of humility and responsibility before bringing you a great opportunity? These are the things that we need to stop and think about. These are the things that matter most. Are we seeking alignment with God or are we here to run our own life?

After a few weeks, praying specifically about how God wanted to use my desires, I received the beginning of a breakthrough. I found myself in a situation where my gift of encouragement really shined through. As I helped someone I loved with their sadness and confusion about life, I suddenly began to receive visions about who I was and what I was supposed to be doing. After I got off the phone, I immediately took out a notebook and wrote down everything that came to me. The more I wrote, the more revelation I had. I began to see how other people around me played a role in my vision and how my desires for opportunity, mentoring, and finances fit in the puzzle. When I finally put the pen down, I smiled with excitement. Was this it?! Was I ready?! Was it time?! I knew God had answered my prayer and gave me His perspective on what it was I desired. Full of joy, my desire to reach that vision strengthened.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may lift you up in due time.” – 1 Peter 5:6-7

There was a major problem, however. Though I received a glimpse of what would come from my life, I had no indication that it was time to pursue it. I couldn’t tell if I was ready for it or not. I wasn’t sure if things would line up as I stepped out on faith or if I had to have more preparation first? This standstill became extremely frustrating. While I don’t doubt God’s plan to give me a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11), the waiting required to see that plan is what’s difficult. How can I stay where I am when I’m fired up for the next thing? How does the puzzle come together when I don’t see any of the pieces on the table yet? These are the types of questions that feed the temptation to walk in front of God. These are the types of questions that bring motive back to the forefront. A wrong motive will have us ready to show out, ready to quit, or ready to tell everyone before it’s time. We may want to boast or brag or we may want to get out of the pressures that we are facing. If God tells us to trust Him through the process, no matter how difficult, murky, or time consuming it is, will we obey and wait for Him?

“Everything is possible for You. Take this cup from Me. Yet not what I will, but what You will.” – Mark 14:36

Jesus spoke these words before His impending crucifixion. No matter what He felt like doing, He still submitted to the will of God the Father and died for our salvation. While, thank God, nothing we have to wait for or endure is this difficult, the concept is still the same. Will we let God reign over our ideas of time, opportunity, and ability or will we overstep Him? Don’t let your rush to escape, flex, or even to do great work supersede the timing and instruction of God. He doesn’t make mistakes. Submission is difficult, painful, and frustrating but it builds character, strength, and faith. Hold on and stay in alignment.

It’s not always about you, twentysomethings.