growing pains = temporary difficulties and problems at the beginning of a particular stage of development. (Collins Dictionary)

Adulting seems to be all about making gains. Most of our goals include making more money, having greater influence and pull in our social groups, becoming more mature and responsible, and of course, loosening the dependence we have on our parents. While those are all great accomplishments in the adulting journey, truth be told, the process in getting there is extremely difficult. We may succeed for a while, thriving as “full grown” twentysomething adults, but inevitably, we always have that hiccup that pulls us back into the reality that we still have more growing up to do.

Growing up, spiritually, works the same way. It reminds me a lot of God’s pruning process, which I’ve touched on previously. Pruning is designed to get rid of those characteristics and habits that are less than who you truly are. It is also designed to stretch you, building a new and improved version of yourself. As I thought more about pruning, I couldn’t help but relate it to the term “growing pains”. Most of us know that growing pains occur when children are getting bigger, often growing in height. The Collins Dictionary definition really touched me specifically, as I could directly see the ties between growing pains in the natural and in the spiritual. Read over the definition again. For me, the two words that stuck out most were “temporary” and “development”. Let’s dive into each of these for a second.

The word temporary feels comforting. We can look at our most difficult experiences, both spiritually and naturally, and recognize that it didn’t last forever. Even in particular situations that still have lasting effects on our present day, there has been some relief, some healthier alternative, or at least, a growing mental capacity to handle the situation better than you once did. Similarly, pruning is temporary. The varying levels of discomfort that pruning brings never lasts forever. You may struggle through it, you may be annoyed by it, and it may stress you out in the moment, but always, relief does come and growth does occur. The second word, development, ties right in. Our goal, no matter what we are doing, is to be better than we were the day before. We can’t do that, however, unless we submit to the process of development: the stretching, pulling, and evolving it takes to become a better us. This process is one God specializes in. The question is, as always, will we take a backseat and let God do the work, even when we think we already have it together?

Thinking I already have it together is a problem I fall into, more times than I’d like to admit. Though I’ve touched on many of my insecurities and struggles, I do also have attributes and capabilities that I’m particularly proud of. Unsurprisingly, God recently decided it was time to test those capabilities out. Did I really have it together? Absolutely not. After I was put in multiple situations that tested my patience, my attitude, and my ability to “be like Christ”, it didn’t take long before the “absolutely not” was obvious. I could feel moments, at the peak of those difficult situations, when my temper rose, where my annoyance reigned, and where my desire to give up almost overtook me. The situations felt more like an attack than any standard and simple pruning. To be honest, I was highly annoyed at God for the unwanted turn of events. I wanted things to go back to how they were. I wanted to ease back into that comfortable space I once found myself in. I wanted my mom! (shout out to my awesome adulting skills!) Thank God for His love, patience, and comfort, however. Though He let me struggle and fight for a while, He soon enough came with a message. In my stillness, He let me know that this wasn’t about the painful attack, but rather, the opportunity for growth. Sitting on that word for a second, I immediately became frustrated. It felt like just another tick off my character. It was another fault or problematic issue that I had. God countered me quickly, assuring me that that wasn’t the problem either. This wasn’t about highlighting my faults so that I’d feel bad. This was about development. This was to prepare me so that I’d be ready for the next step in God’s Will for my life. Understanding this, I was left feeling humbled and grateful. Though the process was irritating and uncomfortable, knowing that this was for my future blessings and provision left me joyful.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. -James 1: 2-4

I share this with you in hopes that you’ll be encouraged when attacks come your way. Before you jump to conclusions and get full of anger, take a step back and reassess the situation. Is there anything you could learn from the attack? Is there anything you’re praying for that may need this sort of character building in order to be manifested? If so, consider it an opportunity for joy. This is not a disregard to the ill ways others may treat you. This is not a disregard to your feelings or emotions during difficult times. This is, however, an opportunity to switch your perspective, allowing the painful but powerful work of growing pains. The result will always be taller, stronger, and wiser you.

Let’s see that height, twentysomethings. ✨