I’ve noticed that there’s a common thread tying many of my life problems together: insecurity. While insecurity is something we all go through, I believe many of us don’t discuss the work it takes to break free of it. Often, we don’t do the work at all, allowing it to be “just how I am.” As a way to break that belief, I want to share a journey I’ve been on in trying to overcome insecurity. While this may not be the solution for everyone, I hope that all of you who struggle with this can grasp something and apply it in your lives. We don’t have time to be jealous and insecure. More than ever, it’s time to fight back. Our destiny is on the line.

Insecurity is vicious. Starting seemingly from birth, we are surrounded by constant comparisons, competitions, beauty standards, and harsh words/ opinions from people. It can get so bad that no matter what you accomplish, you still can’t see your greatness. I was that person, someone so deep into feeling less than that I couldn’t see anything else. It wasn’t until I grew tired that things had the opportunity to change. We often cope with insecurity by shying away and lowering ourselves or by bringing others down to lift ourselves up. I definitely fell into the first category and while feeling sorry for myself “worked” for some years, I couldn’t let it continue to define me. I knew that if I stayed in that place, I would never get all that was meant for me. I would be too scared, too shy, and too blind to see my worth, my power, and my purpose.

Knowing that things had to shift, I began to pray about it and ask God how to overcome this struggle. After speaking with one of my friends (shout out to you Yung Claxton!), the solution became obvious: discover what God says about me, ask follow up questions to make sure the promises belonged to me, and be bold enough to accept it as true,  EVEN WHEN I  felt less than worthy of it.

This method may sound extremely cliche, but hear me out. For me, I always believed that I wasn’t pretty enough, I sinned too much to be worthy of God’s love, that I didn’t have talents or abilities that could hold a light up to my peers, and that my voice didn’t matter. I thought the lowest of lows about myself and it had been that way since I could remember. When I started this journey, I became extremely uncomfortable, as I had to face myself, discover why I felt the way I felt, and choose to believe God’s truth over the world’s truth that had been ingrained in my heart since the beginning of time. I used a journal to write exactly how I felt. It was sad but also therapeutic to confess how I perceived myself. There’s such freedom in being honest instead of giving the standard answers of “I’m fine” or “I’m not bothered.” As I read back what I wrote and got that sick feeling in my heart, knowing I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, I began searching for God’s responses to my feelings. I’ll give you a real example of one of my sessions, in hopes of bringing clarity and helping you start your journey towards victory.

Session 1

The Struggle: I feel unworthy of God because my flesh likes to rise up more times than I’d like. I have bouts of jealousy, doubt, and fear. I’m scared that I don’t measure up. I’m unsure about what I am even doing with my life. Is it enough? Am I doing too much?

God’s Response (1):

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” -Psalm 139:16

-This scripture hit me because simply, it told me that God gets it. He’s not surprised by my doubts and fears. He’s not amazed at how significantly I sinned. He’s not turned off by my weariness. He understands me better than I understand me. He knows me better than I know me. Despite all my perceived flaws, He’s still here loving me, growing me, pushing me forward, and favoring me. There’s nothing I can do that separates me from Him. If He knew all of that and still sent Jesus to die for me, I ought to calm down and breathe. All that self critique and condemnation isn’t necessary. He’s still at work in my life.

-Despite that realization, the stubborn part of me couldn’t let it go. I still felt like I couldn’t measure up and be all that God wanted me to be. God came through with the follow up.

God’s Response (2):

“For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.” – Romans 8:29-30

-The beauty of this scripture was that while Psalm 139:16 told me that God already knew me, this scripture told me that because He knew me, I was predestined to be like Christ (the ultimate goal), that I was called by God and had a purpose in this earth, that I was justified or declared righteous by God, and that I was glorified and special.

-The understanding of Romans 8:29-30 gave me a rebuttal to the world’s truths that shaped me previously. How could I be unworthy, not talented enough, and not beautiful, when God JUST told me that I was righteous and had a purpose so great that He called me specifically for it?

At the end of this session, I was left with the final step of believing God’s truths. This is the hardest step because it’s a fight to actively agree with God over the lies you’ve accepted as fact for so long. This step takes time. The more you meditate on the promises over your life and talk back to the lies that flood your thoughts, the easier it gets.

I encourage you to stay in the fight for your destiny. There’s too much greatness over your life for you to continually play small and measure yourself against other people who are battling their own issues. Discover who you really are and walk in that power. You didn’t know before but now, there’s no excuse. Go ahead and live your best life, one truth at a time.

Keep winning, twentysomethings. ❤️