Nevertheless: in spite of that; all the same; notwithstanding (Oxford Dictionary)

As we began to push out from the gate, in route to see family for Thanksgiving, the pilot informed us that we were going to be delayed due to weather conditions. Instead of  letting us wait inside the airport, we had to sit on the airplane, for an hour, before being cleared to fly. As expected, many passengers became irritated as they complained about the inconvenience.  Just as the pilot promised however, after the hour passed, we began the preparation to take off once again. This time successful, a beautiful scene of mountains and bright sunshine welcomed us as we flew upwards towards the sky. Though the start of the journey was frustrating, we made it to our destination, nevertheless.

Reflecting on the situation, as I looked out of the window at the clouds above and the mountains below, I couldn’t help but smile. God wasted no time in providing another lesson on the power of nevertheless. This power, often easily accessible in certain areas of our lives (where we’ve got the most control over situations), is usually extremely  difficult to grasp in other areas (where we feel uncentered and uncertain). For me, I struggled and still struggle with it as it relates to my spirituality and relationship with God. If you think that that may sound like you, I encourage you to keep reading.

As has been well documented in this blog, I’ve been in a constant state of pruning for months now. Recently, I have felt led to let go of things that have meant a lot to me, have (at least in my opinion) shaped me, have comforted me, and have been synonymous with who I define myself as. When I felt led, I immediately wanted to resist. Who wants to let go of the things they love the most? None of us, obviously!  But God kept pushing me, kept talking to me, and kept encouraging me to try it out. I sighed, realizing that He wasn’t going to back down. If I said I wanted to honor Him and love Him, even a pinch of how He loves and takes care of me, I could at least get serious and take a chance on Him with this new assignment.

So I started all at once. I gave up the music I loved listening to, removed the social media I mindlessly checked,  I began to go to Him as my first resource for all matters, and started becoming more diligent and intentional in my prayer and devotional time. Almost instantly, I felt uncomfortable and annoyed. I began to cry out in distress: “Do I really have to do ALL OF THIS?!” “So what am I supposed to do with myself now?” “How long are we going to keep this on for, Lord?” Basically, it wasn’t your girl’s finest moment. As the days went by however, I started to adapt. I began to find myself actually enjoying this new level of relationship with God. I stopped whining and focused in on this new journey. I began to feel a closer connection to God as the things that so easily distracted me and honestly, took God’s place, weren’t readily accessible to me anymore. I thought I was good. I thought I could do it. I had in the bag…until I didn’t.

It’s always in the moments when you let your guard down, like when everybody’s seatbelt is fastened and we’re ready to takeoff, that you get knocked back down and your feelings get hurt. I was on fire for about a week, then suddenly I wasn’t. I became restless once again. “What’s one song?!” “How LONG Lord?!” “I’m going to get my stuff back, right?” Instead of getting me back in line on His own, God left it up to me to decide. “Is that one song more important than Me?” “Didn’t I promise you that I would be with you until the very end?” “Don’t you believe that I know you and know what you need?” “Do you want to keep playing the same games or do you want to get serious about My will for your life?” God countered. I sighed then smiled in response. He was looking out for me (like always). He wanted me to put away the distractions so that I could see His truth. His ultimate goal was to get me prepared and focused to do all that He put me on this earth to do. Who was I to fight back against what He was doing to prosper me? It was then that the power of nevertheless took its form for real.

⁃ I’m tired Lord but nevertheless will I follow Your commands. (Psalm 119:112)
⁃ I feel like I’m missing out Lord but nevertheless will I trust that You have prepared the proper time for me to do everything assigned to me. (Ecclesiastes 8:6)
⁃ It hurts Lord but nevertheless will I believe that You take on every burden. (Matthew 11:28-30)

I urge you to operate in your own nevertheless power. It’s not fun AT ALL (heads up lol). However, knowing that You are in His will and that His plans are beyond what you can currently fathom is truly worth it. You won’t be alone either as you have a fellow friend (me!) who struggles through it to. Always remember, where God is leading us will be much better than the places and plans we’ve laid out for ourselves.

His will, His way, and His time, twentysomethings!