“Show me how to do things Your way. Don’t let me make the same mistakes over and over again. Your will be done and I’ll be the one to make sure that it’s carried out, and in me, I don’t want any doubt.”
– (Auntie) Yolanda Adams “Open My Heart”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-minqtGHV3g

I mentioned, in my last post, that I was going through heavy pruning and reconstruction. While the pruning still isn’t complete, there have been some beautifully trimmed branches worth mentioning. The most beautiful, at least so far, has been the branch concerning my heart posture. I was asked two questions regarding my heart: “Do you really want to look like Me (Christ)?” and “To whom does your heart belong?”.

These questions can lead in many different directions and in your own lives, I hope that you think about them in whatever makes the most sense for you. For me, the questions took me down two different but specific paths: stewardship and surrender.

Stewardship, to me, is simply giving of yourself as God does. Now I’m not sure if I have ‘only child syndrome’, but I am guilty of not always being open and sharing with those who may need it the most. God really began to convict me, reminding me that I am not my own. He let me know plainly that my gifts, my blessings, and even myself was not mine to claim. He reminded me in scripture (1 John 2:6; Romans 12:2; Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 3: 13-14) that our goal on earth was to look like Jesus, in every area. Just as God gives and provides for us, regardless of whether we do everything right or not, we need to be the same way. This simple revelation was quite eye opening because it revealed something in me that was seemingly unrelated: fear. That fear brings me to the topic of surrender.

If you would have asked me, prior to the start of this pruning, if I had completely surrendered myself and my will to God, I would have said yes without a doubt. As I’ve talked about, from the very beginning of this blog, I was and still am set on living out God’s will for my life and not my own. While that was successful in some areas of my life, there were other areas that still needed work. Shout out to God and His pruning skills (sigh). I say that because pruning isn’t fun, even if the outcome is perfect. I was confronted with the realization that I hadn’t submitted and to be honest, my feelings were hurt. What hurt worse, however, was my hesitation when God asked me to make certain steps forward in stewardship. I found myself frustrated because as much as I said I wanted Him, I also wanted to stay where I felt most comfortable. I was worried about what I looked like to the outside world instead of staying focused on what God had told me to do. This battle between obedience and resistance lasted for a couple of weeks. Thankfully, God is faithful and precious (lol) and stayed with me, waiting it out. I cracked, eventually, and God did what He does best: offer strength in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). To admit and claim my fears was what it took to start the necessary work and let Him encourage me to keep our destiny walk going.

So here I am, with a better looking branch. It’s not perfectly prim and proper yet but it’s being prepared for good fruit to grow from it. It’s such a great feeling to know that God cares about your maturation and preparation. His goal is to push us towards greater, towards the fullness of His destiny in our lives. All of this is to simply say, let God do His work. Open your heart. Address your fears and hesitations. Talk through your thoughts. Make a commitment to stick it out no matter how ugly and uncomfortable the process of surrendering gets. The result is worth it. You’ll be one step closer to being all that God called for you to be. You’ll be one step closer to looking more like the GOAT. Don’t worry. God will be there the whole time. You’re not in this alone.

Auntie Yolanda finishes with this:

“Sometimes His word for you is stay. Stay there in the center of My will. While you’re there, pray. Pray until you get answer. Pray until your situation changes. Then let it turn into praise.”

Fight for your destiny, twenty somethings!