Tag: struggle

How Do I Win?

How Do I Win?

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 3 Comments

I’ve noticed that there’s a common thread tying many of my life problems together: insecurity. While insecurity is something we all go through, I believe many of us don’t discuss the work it takes to break free of it. Often, we don’t do the work at all, allowing it to be “just how I am.” As a way to break that belief, I want to share a journey I’ve been on in trying to overcome insecurity. While this may not be the solution for everyone, I hope that all of you who struggle with this can grasp something and apply it in your lives. We don’t have time to be jealous and insecure. More than ever, it’s time to fight back. Our destiny is on the line.

Insecurity is vicious. Starting seemingly from birth, we are surrounded by constant comparisons, competitions, beauty standards, and harsh words/ opinions from people. It can get so bad that no matter what you accomplish, you still can’t see your greatness. I was that person, someone so deep into feeling less than that I couldn’t see anything else. It wasn’t until I grew tired that things had the opportunity to change. We often cope with insecurity by shying away and lowering ourselves or by bringing others down to lift ourselves up. I definitely fell into the first category and while feeling sorry for myself “worked” for some years, I couldn’t let it continue to define me. I knew that if I stayed in that place, I would never get all that was meant for me. I would be too scared, too shy, and too blind to see my worth, my power, and my purpose.

Knowing that things had to shift, I began to pray about it and ask God how to overcome this struggle. After speaking with one of my friends (shout out to you Yung Claxton!), the solution became obvious: discover what God says about me, ask follow up questions to make sure the promises belonged to me, and be bold enough to accept it as true,  EVEN WHEN I  felt less than worthy of it.

This method may sound extremely cliche, but hear me out. For me, I always believed that I wasn’t pretty enough, I sinned too much to be worthy of God’s love, that I didn’t have talents or abilities that could hold a light up to my peers, and that my voice didn’t matter. I thought the lowest of lows about myself and it had been that way since I could remember. When I started this journey, I became extremely uncomfortable, as I had to face myself, discover why I felt the way I felt, and choose to believe God’s truth over the world’s truth that had been ingrained in my heart since the beginning of time. I used a journal to write exactly how I felt. It was sad but also therapeutic to confess how I perceived myself. There’s such freedom in being honest instead of giving the standard answers of “I’m fine” or “I’m not bothered.” As I read back what I wrote and got that sick feeling in my heart, knowing I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, I began searching for God’s responses to my feelings. I’ll give you a real example of one of my sessions, in hopes of bringing clarity and helping you start your journey towards victory.

Session 1

The Struggle: I feel unworthy of God because my flesh likes to rise up more times than I’d like. I have bouts of jealousy, doubt, and fear. I’m scared that I don’t measure up. I’m unsure about what I am even doing with my life. Is it enough? Am I doing too much?

God’s Response (1):

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” -Psalm 139:16

-This scripture hit me because simply, it told me that God gets it. He’s not surprised by my doubts and fears. He’s not amazed at how significantly I sinned. He’s not turned off by my weariness. He understands me better than I understand me. He knows me better than I know me. Despite all my perceived flaws, He’s still here loving me, growing me, pushing me forward, and favoring me. There’s nothing I can do that separates me from Him. If He knew all of that and still sent Jesus to die for me, I ought to calm down and breathe. All that self critique and condemnation isn’t necessary. He’s still at work in my life.

-Despite that realization, the stubborn part of me couldn’t let it go. I still felt like I couldn’t measure up and be all that God wanted me to be. God came through with the follow up.

God’s Response (2):

“For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.” – Romans 8:29-30

-The beauty of this scripture was that while Psalm 139:16 told me that God already knew me, this scripture told me that because He knew me, I was predestined to be like Christ (the ultimate goal), that I was called by God and had a purpose in this earth, that I was justified or declared righteous by God, and that I was glorified and special.

-The understanding of Romans 8:29-30 gave me a rebuttal to the world’s truths that shaped me previously. How could I be unworthy, not talented enough, and not beautiful, when God JUST told me that I was righteous and had a purpose so great that He called me specifically for it?

At the end of this session, I was left with the final step of believing God’s truths. This is the hardest step because it’s a fight to actively agree with God over the lies you’ve accepted as fact for so long. This step takes time. The more you meditate on the promises over your life and talk back to the lies that flood your thoughts, the easier it gets.

I encourage you to stay in the fight for your destiny. There’s too much greatness over your life for you to continually play small and measure yourself against other people who are battling their own issues. Discover who you really are and walk in that power. You didn’t know before but now, there’s no excuse. Go ahead and live your best life, one truth at a time.

Keep winning, twentysomethings. ❤️

Are You Willing?

Are You Willing?

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 1 Comment

As I reflect over this year, one word that best encapsulates 2017 is stretch. As I’ve mentioned, countless times in this blog, this was definitely a season of pruning and self evaluation. I became more aware of my flaws, my fears, and my ego. More importantly however, I discovered the ultimate drive I had to find God’s best for me. God challenged me to stretch in order to find Him, to believe Him, to obey Him, and ultimately, to love Him. When I think about stretching, the word will automatically follows. There was definitely a battle between God’s will and my will this year. The test of 2017 was finding out whose will would come out on top.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11

It amazes me, looking back, how this one scripture caused so much struggle for me. This scripture plainly highlights God’s love for us. God doesn’t beat around the bush in declaring that He wants the best for His children. He tells us that He will see us through life so that His promises will be proven true. Despite God’s bluntness, we (or just me lol) second guess Him. We are waiting for the trick, the gag, and the weariness hidden within the promise. We can’t take Him at His word because we are too busy looking for the “what if”. Though God never said everything would be easy and worry free, He did say we’d be prosperous and have peace. If we could just push our doubt and control issues out of the way, we could see the fullness of God’s work.

Think about when we try to prove that we’re smarter than our parents. Often, it doesn’t take very long before we hear that “I told you so” from them. Our relationship with God often follows that same model. Our parents tell us things because they’ve lived it already and don’t  want us to make the same mistakes. Similarly, God tells us to stay in line with Him because He is the beginning and the end. God knows it all, has seen it all, and isn’t surprised by anything. Standing on THAT means regardless of whether things are difficult or aren’t enjoyable, if God led us there, we’ll make it through just fine. (Deuteronomy 31:8). The question, therefore, isn’t whether or not God and His word are reliable, but rather if we are willing to put His word before our own logic?

As this new year inches closer, I challenge you to take concrete steps to trust God and His promises for You. If you’re led to do something, especially something difficult, push through and tackle it. There’s healing, blessing, and increased favor through the process and evermore. When your will wants to take charge and find reasons why you can’t do something, put your own will in check. Tell your will about what God said and what He promised to do for and through you. Actively choose God’s will everyday and watch how you continue to blossom into the fullness of who you really are. Remember that God’s foundation is solid and it can be trusted, no matter what. Are you willing to let Him work in His time and His way to see the fullness of His promises? Even if it’s hard? Even if it’s annoying? Even if it messes up your plans and timetable? I hope you’ll be willing to say yes!

New Year, New You, twenty somethings 💜