Tag: preparation

Estoy Aprendiendo

Estoy Aprendiendo

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Estoy aprendiendo Spanish.

I am learning Spanish. Though still a new journey, it has already proven itself to be incredibly exciting and frustratingly difficult. Though I desired to learn in order to one day become bilingual, God, as always, added His own purpose and lessons for my journey as well. I wanted to share some of these lessons in order to make you more aware of God’s voice, even in the mundane things. I hope my experiences push you to tackle strongholds, maximize opportunities, and find comfort in His presence.

Estoy aprendiendo that my gifts aren’t meant to be neglected, no matter how disqualified I feel.

In Spanish, I have a difficult time rolling Rs.  Arroz. Perro. It’s too much! No matter how hard I try, my attempts are often met with correction. As a result, there were times when I simply wanted to give up and accept my gringo defeat. Despite that, however, I kept trying and failing, determined to pronounce the words correctly. Though still not a pro, I definitely have improved, by way of continual practice. It is in this practice that God revealed His first lesson: there is provision where God is. It’s true, both in Spanish and in the various dreams I have for my life, that I’m not a native speaker. I may not have the degree. I may not have the connections. I may not have the finances. I may not even have a complete handle on the skill yet. It doesn’t matter, however, because as long as I continue to put in the work, growth and improvement will inevitably come. It is in this intentional practice that I seek God for help and direction as I would a Spanish speaking friend for help with my pronunciation. I don’t have every skill on my own but God always provides and makes room so that His will gets done. Seek God, don’t neglect the gifts He gave you, and He will honor you like you’ve honored Him.

Estoy aprendiendo that a scared voice is better than no voice at all.

When I first started learning Spanish, the idea of speaking out loud terrified me. Though I knew that I wanted to prioritize conversation, I was afraid. I was afraid that my pronunciation would be horrible. I was afraid that mid-sentence, I’d completely blank and not remember any vocabulary I learned. I was afraid of failing. Though the fear was strong, I knew that I had to be bold enough to open my mouth in order to progress. I decided to tell my Spanish speaking friends and family that I was learning, in hopes that they could help. I found a Spanish conversation group at my local library to get more practice. Though simple to others, I was proud of myself for making the effort. The more I opened my mouth in these spaces, slowly but surely, my understanding, vocabulary, and speaking improved. I was reminded, in this, that our voice for God works the same way. It is often scary for us, as Christians, to speak up on behalf of Christ or break away from the world’s standards. We tend not to like being uncomfortable. We are often fearful of how we will be perceived. God reminded me that impact is made, even if we’re scared while doing it. When I open my mouth, for Spanish, dialogue is exchanged, things are explained, and community is built. Opening your mouth for God, in whatever way that means for you, has the same effect. It is better to make the attempt than to not try at all. You never know who you’re affecting. You never know who could affect you.

Estoy aprendiendo that everything is not translatable.

There are certain phrases in Spanish that make no sense to me. Though I ask friends for explanations, I’m not always guaranteed an easy and clear answer. They are often quick to remind me that not everything in Spanish mirrors English sentence construction. There are instances where certain words or phrases are to simply be accepted as they are. Though frustrating, if I want to be proficient, I need to simply fall in line and let the Spanish language lead me. Doesn’t God work in a similar fashion? We all have plans and ideas of how things should go. We pray and fast and assume that God will green light anything we do. When He doesn’t, we are often left upset, confused, and feeling deceived. Just as in Spanish, not everything God does or doesn’t do in a certain season is translatable. God could make a promise that requires us to step out in faith and our desired end doesn’t automatically materialize. Is God, then, a liar? Is He not to be trusted? I challenge you to think about whether your plans and expectations are in line with His? I’m confident that many of you will realize that it isn’t God who is unfair, but rather our own refusal to submit to His will and His timing that leaves us unsatisfied. It is only when we adjust our focus and way of thinking that we begin to see the growth and results God intended for us. Despite my confusion, I’m comforted, in Spanish, by knowing that these concepts and rules have been applied in practice and are valid, as evidenced by the millions of people who speak the language everyday. I simply have to adapt. Similarly, it is important that you are comforted in God’s track record. His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts.* His intentions, thankfully, are always pure.** He doesn’t want to hurt me and He doesn’t want to hurt you. Get in alignment and master the language!

Keep learning, twentysomethings.

* Isaiah 55:8-9

** Jeremiah 29:11

Learning & Refining

Learning & Refining

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 2 Comments

Sit. Breathe. Listen.

I ask myself often why I can’t take a seat?! My mind constantly races and I never allow myself to be at ease. I’ll catch myself stumbling over , striding towards or striving for something instead of resting. As you can imagine, this has messed with both my endurance and my emotions. There are moments when, at the height of my stride, I can feel on top of the world, handling responsibilities and feeling like I’m really plugged into God. Conversely, I can feel beat up and out of breath when all of my personal effort seemingly leads me nowhere or puts me in an unwanted position I didn’t foresee previously. I’ve learned, or rather have been reminded, that sometimes I disregard the voice of God in the entire matter. While I may have Godly people and Godly influences around me, God Himself will be on the back burner. That positioning often leads to issues like what I’ve described above. A more real example of this just occurred recently. Hopefully my story will be helpful to some of you.

For the past two or three months, I’ve been watching a church on YouTube that preached primarily to young adults. Grabbing my attention by preaching in fun but very insightful ways, I grew excited. As I know myself to do (I’m still a work in progress, y’all), I became obsessed. I listened to sermons night and day and didn’t think anything was wrong because, of course, it was the Word of God. The more time I spent listening to these sermons, as well as a few more from other pastors I loved, I began to feel heavy. They were all telling me to do so many things. I needed to evangelize more. I needed to write my vision down. I needed to have greater faith. I needed to rest more. I needed to put my faith into action. It was information overload. While all these sermons were all valid and all great in their contexts, that didn’t make them all valid and great for me to hear simultaneously. At the time however, I didn’t understand that.

Fast forward to a week or so ago when the heaviness, particularly to evangelize, weighed on me. The idea of evangelizing freaked me out because I’m quiet and introverted, especially around strangers (all prayers are appreciated, y’all). I was fearful honestly. The various sermons told me about the lives that needed to be saved. They told me how people can’t call on Jesus if they never heard of Him (John 10: 14-15). I felt that responsibility. I felt the compassion. I did actually care. I was so scared though. I had fears such as: “What will they say?”, “Will I even make sense?”,  “Will they reject me?”,  and “Will it matter?”.  Regardless of how “weak” those fears may seem to other people, they felt intensely real and strong to me. As real as they felt, the guilt was even more intense. I knew I didn’t need to be fearful. I knew I wasn’t supposed to shy away. No matter how many people told me to breathe and pray for opportunity, I always felt like there was always opportunity that I was cowardly avoiding. I kept holding this guilt and disappointment in myself, not even realizing the true severity of it, until I got a migraine.

My history of migraines runs deep. It’s too deep to get into now but trust me. Long story short, I’ve had chronic migraines since I was thirteen, filled with hospitalizations and prescription medications. By God’s grace, however, I haven’t had a migraine in about two years! As you can imagine then, when I got one, I instantly freaked out and was confused. I didn’t understand where it came from or what triggered it. Though I didn’t connect the dots right away, the following day, God let me know exactly what caused my migraine. He told me, and I paraphrase, “the devil is setting you up. He wants you to believe that you’re not worthy. He wants you to think that I’m upset with you. He’s trying to get you to believe that I’m disappointed in you. You’re believing him. I’m not mad at you. Let’s try again. Focus on Me.” When I heard that, the light bulb went off and everything clicked. The devil knew the right button to push. I’m very type A (again, prayers please!). I always want to do it right, be perfect, and do the best job. It seems to be heightened when it relates to pleasing God with my life. While that’s all great and wonderful, it’s also dangerous because I’m not a perfect person nor will I ever be. God understands our humanity (Psalm 103: 13-18). He knew we weren’t perfect from the beginning. That’s why He sent Jesus in the first place! He gets it. I am the one that so desperately needs to understand that truth! To accept that we aren’t perfect but that we are in God’s grace, is the biggest first step. To sit under Him, submitted, dependent, and obedient is how we win. He wants to help. He cares for us. (Isaiah 30:18)

So for me, focusing on His voice looks like fasting from listening to the zillions of sermons on YouTube everyday and just reading the Bible. I come to Him with questions or thoughts and I let Him lead me to answers and further understanding about who He is and who He says I am in Him. Am I, today, still fearful? Yes! Do I feel like a disappointment and a bad Christian? No! That’s progress in my book. It will only go up from here. That I definitely believe.

I write all of this to say that the devil is busy and working his hardest to defeat you. He will use any and every trick in the book to break you down and pull you away from Christ. Don’t believe his lies, no matter how true they feel. Even at your lowest, God loves you, wants you and is longing to take care of you. Remove the noise and listen for His voice. There’s always more learning and refining to do in us. When you get confronted with something, don’t shy away out of fear, shame, or disappointment. God loves all of you and will continue to work, correct, and shape you into who He’s called you to be. Let Him do it. God is preparing you for greater.

There’s more for you, twenty somethings ❤️