Tag: christian

Growing Pains

Growing Pains

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 4 Comments

growing pains = temporary difficulties and problems at the beginning of a particular stage of development. (Collins Dictionary)

Adulting seems to be all about making gains. Most of our goals include making more money, having greater influence and pull in our social groups, becoming more mature and responsible, and of course, loosening the dependence we have on our parents. While those are all great accomplishments in the adulting journey, truth be told, the process in getting there is extremely difficult. We may succeed for a while, thriving as “full grown” twentysomething adults, but inevitably, we always have that hiccup that pulls us back into the reality that we still have more growing up to do.

Growing up, spiritually, works the same way. It reminds me a lot of God’s pruning process, which I’ve touched on previously. Pruning is designed to get rid of those characteristics and habits that are less than who you truly are. It is also designed to stretch you, building a new and improved version of yourself. As I thought more about pruning, I couldn’t help but relate it to the term “growing pains”. Most of us know that growing pains occur when children are getting bigger, often growing in height. The Collins Dictionary definition really touched me specifically, as I could directly see the ties between growing pains in the natural and in the spiritual. Read over the definition again. For me, the two words that stuck out most were “temporary” and “development”. Let’s dive into each of these for a second.

The word temporary feels comforting. We can look at our most difficult experiences, both spiritually and naturally, and recognize that it didn’t last forever. Even in particular situations that still have lasting effects on our present day, there has been some relief, some healthier alternative, or at least, a growing mental capacity to handle the situation better than you once did. Similarly, pruning is temporary. The varying levels of discomfort that pruning brings never lasts forever. You may struggle through it, you may be annoyed by it, and it may stress you out in the moment, but always, relief does come and growth does occur. The second word, development, ties right in. Our goal, no matter what we are doing, is to be better than we were the day before. We can’t do that, however, unless we submit to the process of development: the stretching, pulling, and evolving it takes to become a better us. This process is one God specializes in. The question is, as always, will we take a backseat and let God do the work, even when we think we already have it together?

Thinking I already have it together is a problem I fall into, more times than I’d like to admit. Though I’ve touched on many of my insecurities and struggles, I do also have attributes and capabilities that I’m particularly proud of. Unsurprisingly, God recently decided it was time to test those capabilities out. Did I really have it together? Absolutely not. After I was put in multiple situations that tested my patience, my attitude, and my ability to “be like Christ”, it didn’t take long before the “absolutely not” was obvious. I could feel moments, at the peak of those difficult situations, when my temper rose, where my annoyance reigned, and where my desire to give up almost overtook me. The situations felt more like an attack than any standard and simple pruning. To be honest, I was highly annoyed at God for the unwanted turn of events. I wanted things to go back to how they were. I wanted to ease back into that comfortable space I once found myself in. I wanted my mom! (shout out to my awesome adulting skills!) Thank God for His love, patience, and comfort, however. Though He let me struggle and fight for a while, He soon enough came with a message. In my stillness, He let me know that this wasn’t about the painful attack, but rather, the opportunity for growth. Sitting on that word for a second, I immediately became frustrated. It felt like just another tick off my character. It was another fault or problematic issue that I had. God countered me quickly, assuring me that that wasn’t the problem either. This wasn’t about highlighting my faults so that I’d feel bad. This was about development. This was to prepare me so that I’d be ready for the next step in God’s Will for my life. Understanding this, I was left feeling humbled and grateful. Though the process was irritating and uncomfortable, knowing that this was for my future blessings and provision left me joyful.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. -James 1: 2-4

I share this with you in hopes that you’ll be encouraged when attacks come your way. Before you jump to conclusions and get full of anger, take a step back and reassess the situation. Is there anything you could learn from the attack? Is there anything you’re praying for that may need this sort of character building in order to be manifested? If so, consider it an opportunity for joy. This is not a disregard to the ill ways others may treat you. This is not a disregard to your feelings or emotions during difficult times. This is, however, an opportunity to switch your perspective, allowing the painful but powerful work of growing pains. The result will always be taller, stronger, and wiser you.

Let’s see that height, twentysomethings. ✨

Learning & Refining

Learning & Refining

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 2 Comments

Sit. Breathe. Listen.

I ask myself often why I can’t take a seat?! My mind constantly races and I never allow myself to be at ease. I’ll catch myself stumbling over , striding towards or striving for something instead of resting. As you can imagine, this has messed with both my endurance and my emotions. There are moments when, at the height of my stride, I can feel on top of the world, handling responsibilities and feeling like I’m really plugged into God. Conversely, I can feel beat up and out of breath when all of my personal effort seemingly leads me nowhere or puts me in an unwanted position I didn’t foresee previously. I’ve learned, or rather have been reminded, that sometimes I disregard the voice of God in the entire matter. While I may have Godly people and Godly influences around me, God Himself will be on the back burner. That positioning often leads to issues like what I’ve described above. A more real example of this just occurred recently. Hopefully my story will be helpful to some of you.

For the past two or three months, I’ve been watching a church on YouTube that preached primarily to young adults. Grabbing my attention by preaching in fun but very insightful ways, I grew excited. As I know myself to do (I’m still a work in progress, y’all), I became obsessed. I listened to sermons night and day and didn’t think anything was wrong because, of course, it was the Word of God. The more time I spent listening to these sermons, as well as a few more from other pastors I loved, I began to feel heavy. They were all telling me to do so many things. I needed to evangelize more. I needed to write my vision down. I needed to have greater faith. I needed to rest more. I needed to put my faith into action. It was information overload. While all these sermons were all valid and all great in their contexts, that didn’t make them all valid and great for me to hear simultaneously. At the time however, I didn’t understand that.

Fast forward to a week or so ago when the heaviness, particularly to evangelize, weighed on me. The idea of evangelizing freaked me out because I’m quiet and introverted, especially around strangers (all prayers are appreciated, y’all). I was fearful honestly. The various sermons told me about the lives that needed to be saved. They told me how people can’t call on Jesus if they never heard of Him (John 10: 14-15). I felt that responsibility. I felt the compassion. I did actually care. I was so scared though. I had fears such as: “What will they say?”, “Will I even make sense?”,  “Will they reject me?”,  and “Will it matter?”.  Regardless of how “weak” those fears may seem to other people, they felt intensely real and strong to me. As real as they felt, the guilt was even more intense. I knew I didn’t need to be fearful. I knew I wasn’t supposed to shy away. No matter how many people told me to breathe and pray for opportunity, I always felt like there was always opportunity that I was cowardly avoiding. I kept holding this guilt and disappointment in myself, not even realizing the true severity of it, until I got a migraine.

My history of migraines runs deep. It’s too deep to get into now but trust me. Long story short, I’ve had chronic migraines since I was thirteen, filled with hospitalizations and prescription medications. By God’s grace, however, I haven’t had a migraine in about two years! As you can imagine then, when I got one, I instantly freaked out and was confused. I didn’t understand where it came from or what triggered it. Though I didn’t connect the dots right away, the following day, God let me know exactly what caused my migraine. He told me, and I paraphrase, “the devil is setting you up. He wants you to believe that you’re not worthy. He wants you to think that I’m upset with you. He’s trying to get you to believe that I’m disappointed in you. You’re believing him. I’m not mad at you. Let’s try again. Focus on Me.” When I heard that, the light bulb went off and everything clicked. The devil knew the right button to push. I’m very type A (again, prayers please!). I always want to do it right, be perfect, and do the best job. It seems to be heightened when it relates to pleasing God with my life. While that’s all great and wonderful, it’s also dangerous because I’m not a perfect person nor will I ever be. God understands our humanity (Psalm 103: 13-18). He knew we weren’t perfect from the beginning. That’s why He sent Jesus in the first place! He gets it. I am the one that so desperately needs to understand that truth! To accept that we aren’t perfect but that we are in God’s grace, is the biggest first step. To sit under Him, submitted, dependent, and obedient is how we win. He wants to help. He cares for us. (Isaiah 30:18)

So for me, focusing on His voice looks like fasting from listening to the zillions of sermons on YouTube everyday and just reading the Bible. I come to Him with questions or thoughts and I let Him lead me to answers and further understanding about who He is and who He says I am in Him. Am I, today, still fearful? Yes! Do I feel like a disappointment and a bad Christian? No! That’s progress in my book. It will only go up from here. That I definitely believe.

I write all of this to say that the devil is busy and working his hardest to defeat you. He will use any and every trick in the book to break you down and pull you away from Christ. Don’t believe his lies, no matter how true they feel. Even at your lowest, God loves you, wants you and is longing to take care of you. Remove the noise and listen for His voice. There’s always more learning and refining to do in us. When you get confronted with something, don’t shy away out of fear, shame, or disappointment. God loves all of you and will continue to work, correct, and shape you into who He’s called you to be. Let Him do it. God is preparing you for greater.

There’s more for you, twenty somethings ❤️

Mind Your Business

Mind Your Business

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

“Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless—like chasing the wind.” – Ecclesiastes 4:4

There is nothing that defines adulthood quite like working. For me, just starting almost a year ago, adulting really began to settle in as soon as I started punching the clock. While working has been a great experience, with a lot of professional and personal growth, there’s one thing that really annoys me about it: its spirits of competition and envy.
As someone who has battled deeply with comparing myself to everyone else and feeling like I never measured up, I believe I’m sensitive to these spirits now. I can spot them a mile away in myself and in others around me. I’m hoping that this post can shed some light and help provide you with a new perspective on how to overcome this battle within yourself and how to ignore it from others. This is a how to guide on minding your business!

“For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” – 1 John 2:16-17

I think one of the biggest lies we all accept is that we have to prove ourselves. It starts from childhood. We have to get the best grades and hang with the coolest kids. As we get older, that turns into having the best car, going to the best college, and making the most money. We are constantly trying to meet these standards to assert our importance and value. While there may be nothing inherently wrong with attaining these things, the problem lies in your motive behind it. What/who are you doing it for? Why are you striving for it? God didn’t tell you that you were worthy or shined bright because of what you did or attained. You shine and you slay because of Him and His spirit within you. The first step in minding your business is realizing that this life and its standards are problematic. I’m not telling you to be lazy and complacent. I hope that you continue to grow and prosper. That being said, please pay attention to your reasons why. The world is passing away and all that work and struggle to outshine someone else won’t matter in the end.

“Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; For why should he be esteemed?” – Isaiah 2:22

Other people can really shake you if you let them. Speaking for myself, when I was younger and heavily trapped in the spirits of comparison and envy, I was miserable and literally sick at times. It was hard for me to feel like I mattered and had value because I wasn’t like “them”, doing what “they” were doing. I thought that I would fall by the wayside, never seen, never heard, and never cared about. Even now, I feel those spirits try to creep back up in me. Thankfully, it doesn’t have the same effect on me anymore (shout out to the pruning process). Whereas before I was terrified that I would be forgotten and deemed unimportant, now I know that I matter regardless of whether or not someone affirms my value. I am God’s child and I’m here because He has found me valuable. He has given me a specific destiny to walk out. He has given me certain tasks to complete. I am in the mindset now that what’s happening in the world can’t and shouldn’t affect me. God’s hand is on me so what am I tripping for? Whether it is you dealing with envy or someone else is envious of you, remind yourself that we are all on our own paths. God’s purpose for us is unique. You can never be them and they can never be you. The sooner you release the fear associated with not measuring up, the easier it’ll be to mind your business and stay in peace.

“If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth.” – Deuteronomy 28:1

My hope for this post is to have you begin to see yourself as already of greatest importance and value. The spirits of competition and envy, rooted in our feelings of inadequacy, have no place in you as a child of God. If you didn’t have purpose and power, you wouldn’t still be here. I encourage you, in the workplace, at school, or wherever else, to shine on. Continue to operate in the gifts that God has given you, constantly learning and growing along the way. Do this for God. Honor Him with your knowledge, your skills, and your attitude. In the middle of all the competition for the promotion, accolades, praises, or anything else, don’t be bothered. Be still and know that God already has you in His hands and will elevate you in ways that baffle others around you. Stay the course and God will show out on your behalf. Watch Him work!

Mind your business, twentysomethings.

Great Is Your Mercy, Great Is Your Grace

Great Is Your Mercy, Great Is Your Grace

by Nikki Rich Writes ♥ 1 Comment

I recently received the biggest and most important revelation of my life thus far: God loves me. I know that this revelation, at first read, may seem dull, but please hear me out. While it IS basic, it’s also something many of us don’t fully take in and accept. It’s the foundation that everyone of us should stand on. I realized that before now, I wasn’t standing on it at all. I was, at best, using it as a churchy thing to say. It wasn’t that I didn’t know God loved me, it was that I didn’t believe it. It’s only in this past week that God really brought it to the forefront and made me examine myself and Him. It is only now that I’m seeing that revelation as something more than just knowledge, but as power.

Let’s take it back to our favorite twenty-something topic: adulting. In the fullness of our adulting experiences, we are all extremely stretched. We have classes to pass and we have bills to pay. We have bosses to impress and we have children to keep alive. Simply, adulting is stressful. It seems to be full of work with minimal play. We are constantly performing and constantly working towards perfection. As adults, we are marked, many times, by our ability to excel, to get it all right. If we possibly fall short, in any area, we risk eviction, getting fired, even losing the beauty of our Instagram highlight reel (that’s another topic for another day lol). The point I’m trying to make is that we are conditioned to perform. Very rarely are we graced to stumble, let alone fall. For me, that mentality was applied not only to adulting but to God. I was a class act performer. I went to church. I read my scriptures. I encouraged others. I prayed to be used by Him. While all these things were done with sincerity and good intention, I wasn’t doing it out of pure love. My desire was to get the gold star. I wanted to win the Oscar, I wanted His approval.

This realization was the latest lesson of my pruning process. I pretty much got slapped in the face when God let me know that I was doing everything under the sun except seeing Him. He told me, simply, that He wasn’t like the people on this earth. I didn’t have to impress Him. I didn’t have to perform. He already knew me. He already loved me unconditionally. Even at my worst, He wanted me.
As a performer, this sounded good but was quite the challenge to accept ( it’s still a challenge at times, honestly). It sounds awesome for God to love me just as I am, to purpose me for greater, and to have nothing separate me from His love. I couldn’t understand how exactly that worked in real life though. I wanted to perform, badly. I had many questions such as: “How can I show you that I love you? What fast do I need to do? What scriptures do I need to read to prove that I’m serious about You?” My questions were met with silence, unsurprisingly. To be honest, even now it strikes a nerve. I don’t like not knowing. I don’t like not having an action plan.

Funny enough, He wants me (and all of us) to get to that point. He wants me not knowing what to do or how to act, in my own strength. Being in that state leaves us dependent, seeking Him out for everything. Experience has shown me, time and time again, that when I depend on my performance, my will, and my logic, I fall short every time. While that may work beautifully in the “real world”, God has no time for my games. As well intentioned as my performance was, it wasn’t His way. I needed to surrender to Him. I needed to listen and to obey, pushing my own feelings aside. I couldn’t play church or just say the right kind of prayer hoping all would be okay. I had to drop it all, get real, and let Him in everywhere and in everything.

I’m not writing this as someone who has now figured it out. I am writing as someone still perched in the process. I’m still confused at times and still fighting my flesh all the time. I have not been given all the answers during this process. In fact, this is a step by step, day by day sort of situation. But step by step, God is revealing. He is assuring me that He loves me, right here. He is sending me scriptures that show me how he views me, how he uses people like me. He is putting revelation in my heart about His purpose for me. He is letting me know that with Him, I’m unstoppable. Having to now walk this out, I find myself completely shook. I’m constantly wondering why He loves me so much, to the point that He’s willing to take it back to this basic but fundamental promise. The answer, I’m getting time and time again is because, simply, I’m His child and we have destiny to do. The same is true for you.

I just encourage you to relax. We have so many demands and opportunities to perform both in the natural and the spiritual. I pray that you wait to see what God says and where He tells you to go. Our own will is fruitless, but His will leads to abundance, opportunity, healing, and freedom. Sit in the revelation that He loves you. Not only does He love you, but He wants the best for you. Because you’re His child, He will hold you up, keep you from falling, and remind you of all His promises for your life. Grace and mercy follow us because He loves us.

Surrender your thoughts, your plans, and your desire to perform. Let Him complete His perfect work in you. You will not fail. You will not fall. His power will be all over you. For when you are weak, then you are strong! (2 Corinthians 12:10)

He loves you, twentysomethings!

“For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Check out this skit to drive the message home: