
“For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to doâthis I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law, but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.” – Romans 7:20-25 NIV
Walking with Jesus can be really hard at times. While there are a lot of awesome things that come with a relationship with God, namely eternal life, freedom from the worldâs grasp, and confidence in God’s love and commitment to you in all seasons, the journey is not a walk in the park. To become more like Christ requires correction, discipline, and sacrifice. The process of sanctification can be humbling. If you donât have the right perspective of discipline and correction, your feelings can get hurt pretty quickly. For me, with my history as a perfectionist who magnified all my flaws and faults, being confronted with my sin often felt devastating. It was easy to feel like a failure and a fraud. It was hard to shake the feeling that perhaps I wasnât as devoted to the Lord as I thought. But as I read Paulâs words in Romans 7, I was comforted by his honesty. The sinful nature that arose in me wasnât out of my disregard for God and His law. It was, and still is, the default nature of the body I live in. Paul reminded me that despite my body doing the most, I’m not beyond deliverance, healing, and freedom through Jesus Christ our Lord. True transformation, however, requires humility, surrender, and a true desire to change. It requires God having the first and final say about who we are and all we do. It also requires us, especially in moments where our flesh has the momentary victory, to meditate on God and His commitment to us. In my life, when my flesh appears to have the upper hand, God often reminds me that He is my Father, who knows me and cares for me deeply (Psalm 139:13-16). He reminds me that, no matter what comes my way, He will never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). He reminds me of His faithfulness even when I’m faithless (2 Timothy 2:13). He reminds me that His grace and mercy are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). He reminds me that His lovingkindness abounds (Psalm 86:5). He reminds me that He is long suffering (Psalm 78:38). He reminds me that He desires to rescue His children (2 Timothy 4:18). He reminds me that, through Him, I have victory against any attack or temptation from the enemy (1 John 5:4-5). He reminds me, most importantly, that Iâm but a human (Psalm 103:14). Only dust. And though I will do great things for and with Him, there will be moments, often many, where I mess up or choose wrong. My humanity is not surprising to God nor is it disqualifying. He reminds me that, in Him, I will make progress in sanctification, in faith, and in power; but, that progress is rarely linear. We may fall at times but how we get back up and run to Christ makes all the difference. One of the best examples of this is King David’s fall with Bathsheba.
“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the kingâs men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, ‘She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.’ Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, ‘I am pregnant.'” – 2 Samuel 11:1-5 NIV
King David. The man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). The one who fought Goliath (1 Samuel 17:41-52). The one who was committed to obeying God despite his own will (1 Samuel 24:1-7). David is loved and honored by many in the Christian faith for living a devoted life to the Lord. He didn’t play with God or about God. And yet. At the time kings were supposed to go to war (where David most likely should have been), he was at home looking at a woman lustfully. Despite inquiring and finding out that Bathsheba was married, he called for her. Despite adultery being listed as a clear sin in God’s law (Exodus 20:14), David slept with her and got her pregnant. If you read on in the story, once David found out Bathsheba was pregnant, he called for her husband, Uriah, to come home. He attempted to hide his sin by getting Uriah to sleep with Bathsheba. Uriah, loyal to the king and his fellow army men, refused, ultimately foiling Davidâs plan. Frustrated, David sent Uriah back to war, ordered him to be put on the frontlines, and ensured his death (2 Samuel 11:6-27).
“The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, ‘There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.’ David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, ‘As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.’ Then Nathan said to David, ‘You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: âI anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave your masterâs house to you, and your masterâs wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’ This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’ Then David said to Nathan, ‘I have sinned against the Lord.’ Nathan replied, ‘The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.'” – 2 Samuel 12:1-14 NIV
If you read the end of 2 Samuel 11, youâll find that there is no mention of David feeling bad or even convicted about the killing of Uriah. In fact, we only hear mention of Bathshebaâs mourning, which is no sooner followed by her becoming Davidâs new wife. 2 Samuel 12 begins with God sending a prophet, named Nathan, to confront David with his sin. At the realization of his grave sin and God’s perspective on it, David immediately sees himself and shows remorse. Nathan meets Davidâs remorse with reassurance. Nathan shares that Davidâs sin is already forgiven and removed by God. Despite this great mercy, David will still deal with some heavy consequences due to his disobedience and clear disrespect towards the Lord. Not only will the child Bathsheba bore to him die, but David, himself, will be plagued with violence and disruption in his own household (feel free to read the fulfillment of this prophecy in 2 Samuel 13 – 18).
Reading this more recently, I initially found David’s actions so bizarre. Like many, I felt like David was basically perfect. He was strong in his faith and truly loved God with his whole heart. While him committing adultery was problematic (obviously), his lack of remorse and almost obliviousness regarding his sin, prior to Nathanâs confrontation, really shocked me. I found his behavior so strange for someone who walked so closely with God. How could David love God the way he did and then do something so foolish? Moreover, how could he be so clueless about the extent of his actions? Though tempting to judge and find fault in David, especially when the behavior was so clearly wrong, I was quickly reminded by God that none of our walks with God are perfect. And because we are human, with a natural bent towards sin and selfishness, none of us are exempt from having a moment just like David. In fact, God humbled me when He reminded me that I, too, have been like David plenty of times in my journey with Him. No, I haven’t committed adultery. No, I haven’t committed murder. No, I didn’t skip out on war when I should have been out there. I have been, however, outside of God’s will, doing things I had no business doing. I have let temptations lead me astray. I have chosen pride and self-righteousness instead of humility and surrender when I wanted to feed my flesh. I have pushed God away to do my “own thing.” And like David, I, too, have been oblivious to how it upset or grieved God. While I was aware of my actions, as David clearly had to be, I thought it small or insignificant. I excused behavior because I was in a difficult season or needed relief. I thought it wasn’t that bad because God is gracious and would understand. Have you ever been there?
In God’s rebuke, we see David experience two things: mercy and discipline through consequences. We love mercy, don’t we? It’s such a blessing when God spares us from the bad things we deserve. But what about discipline? Do we thank God for the tough consequences we experience as a result of our actions? Though God spared David’s life, the consequences God laid out were thick. Loss of a child. Public shame. Familial disruption. Mess. Many of us view discipline in a negative light. We see it as punishment and Godâs anger or frustration with us. Discipline can also make us feel bad. In our minds, discipline might signal failure and defeat. We may falsely believe that, because God disciplined us for something, weâve now messed up too much and are no longer worthy of Godâs love. But weâve got discipline all wrong. Godâs discipline is just another extension of His love for us. Though discipline may hurt, cause loss, or feel uncomfortable, the core of discipline is simply correction. Discipline tells us that the Father loves us too much to allow us to continue in unprofitable behavior. In Davidâs case, and ours too, consequences shine a light on our deep need for God and, if we let it, produce a renewed passion for progress.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you.” – Psalm 51:10-13 NIV
The heading to this famous psalm states that it was written by David after Nathan confronted him about his adultery with Bathsheba. After facing Godâs rebuke, David asked for a pure heart and a renewed steadfast spirit. Itâs clear that somewhere along David’s journey with God, he lost sight of his passion and commitment, even temporarily. David asked the Lord to restore what was lost and to help him get back on track with God. In the next verse, David then stressed his desire to be with God and in His presence at all times. He didnât want to be left to himself. He wanted to walk with, be led by, and be restored by the Lord. Davidâs humility and dependence in this verse are beautiful and worth emulating in our own walks with God. We canât live this life successfully apart from Him. After admitting his deep need for God’s presence, David then asked to be restored in the knowledge of the joy of God’s salvation and to be granted a willing spirit to live life according to the ways of the Lord. This particular verse really struck me. This verse shows that sometimes, in all our Christian living, we can forget, lose sight of, or find common the joy of God’s salvation. We can minimize the significance of God’s pursuit of us, Jesus’s death to save us, and the Holy Spirit’s commitment to lead and transform us. It’s an imperative to me, and I hope to you as well, to not think God common or get too comfortable in what you think you know as a Christian. Daily reverence, gratitude, humility, and awareness of God, and of self, are needed. The final verse shows that Davidâs experience isn’t something he planned to keep to himself. He committed to sharing his faults and shortcomings to warn others. And not just warn others, but show them of their deep need for the Lord so that they, too, could turn back to the God who loves, sustains, forgives, heals, and redeems (even when consequences are included). David, after this encounter with the prophet Nathan, had a renewed desire for God and for His progression under the submission of God. Though he had a significant setback, David was able to get back up and continue forward. The same can be true for us.
I felt led to share this story about David because I know, firsthand, that this walk with the Lord gets rough and tough at times. Whether we cause it ourselves or life just happens to us, we’ll have moments, even with a genuine passion for the Lord, where we’ll mess up and do something we shouldn’t have done. While I’m not condoning willful sin or brushing it all under the rug of grace, I do want to encourage you that God’s love doesn’t fail because you do (Romans 8:38-39). As you continue on this journey with Christ, whether as a new believer or someone trying to pursue a higher level with God, take courage in knowing that God isn’t surprised by you or your actions. He offers help, guidance, correction, and conviction. Never forget that He disciplines the ones He loves (Hebrews 12:6-8). Better a rebuke and a learned lesson than to be left in sin and ignorance. I pray that you’d be ever aware and ever dependent on the Lord as you walk this walk. I pray that you’d run to Him quickly when faced with temptation, difficulty, or exasperation. I pray that you’d remember that He doesn’t want your perfection and performance, but your presence and passion. I pray that you would finish strong. I pray that youâd cling to Him, trusting that Heâll take care of you like He promised. So go and pursue all that the Lord has set for you. Seek holiness. Seek righteousness. Seek justice. Seek Him.
Until next time, be ye holy…authentically â¤ď¸.
P.S. This concludes the holiness series. Thank you so much for reading and sharing. đđžđ




